Christmas

It’s Christmas once again, and I’m on my laptop once again. Like last year, I’m brooding over the same ache. As the festive mood showers over this lovely city, it gives me the time to stop and take in all the wonders and beauty I’ve received in the past year. As though a reminder to reflect and appreciate what I have been given in the past year, Christmas serves as an opportunity for me to rethink what kind of a person I have been, and how I would want to be in the coming year.

2012 is touted as the “End of the World.” As it draws close, I am glad I have had this opportunity to have lived a life I can leave behind as a contented person. I might not have achieved everything I wanted, but at the very least, I am happy and have no worries. I am answerable to all my actions and am more than glad that I can smile in the face of almost everything.

The biggest thanks would have to go to my family – My mum, dad, brother and sister. No doubt that there were conflicts and other scuffles, but without them, I would not have been able to walk this far. So thank you my family.

2011 has been eventful. I have experienced almost every aspect of humanity in this one short year – Joy, tears, love, hatred, content, grudge, pride, low-self esteem, euphoria, in-the-dumps, hope, confusion, and so much more – And as it draws closer and closer to 2012, I would like to end this year on the right note.

I know many things have happened and many unexpected twists have appeared in my life story of 2011, but I do not want to let it stay the way it is. I can not please everyone, but I will try my best to not let anyone be miserable/unhappy if it is within my abilities. So here is my little commitment, to right some wrongs before 2012, or at least try.

And lastly, here’s wishing you a very merry and blessed Christmas. Be it celebrated as a tradition or just a festive cheer that passed you by, I hope you have a great and lovely time in the midst of all the chaos of the world. Thank you for being a part of my 2011, and may you have a splendid year ahead.

The apple of my eye

I just watched “You are the apple of my eye,” and I have to say it does rake up emotions.

Just to note, I watched the version uploaded on youtube, of course I downloaded and converted it before watching. Technically, I really do love the shots used. The entire film seemed to have a soft-focus effect applied, perfect for such romance genres. As for the audio quality, I cannot really give an accurate view, I believe this version uploaded is one of the working versions, with several audio tracks missing i.e post production missing in the last scene when they were at the baseball range and there was not a single baseball thrown which meant no clonking sounds present.

I guess the biggest take away from this film is how much I can relate to many of the scenes – How I was once challenged to go after the same girl, how I wished I knew answers to certain questions yet refused to ask them, how I thought I what I was doing would prove myself to her. This movie did bring up many good memories as the story unfolded (and watching it alone in my room with the lights all turned off after a session of self-reflection does heighten receptivity)

It’s been a long time, and I have been thinking about many things. What really matters? I mean, when the protagonist did not end up marrying the girl he went after for years, did it really matter? If she was happy, and he knew she was, does it matter if they had to end up together? Sure, it was a beautiful story, almost perfect, yet the ending had to have such a twist.

I’m sure we all have a story of our own to tell, especially with the one we loved so deeply, of which the ending is far from perfect. We all write our own stories, everyday penning down a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or maybe even closing one, but there would be this one part of the story that we will always go back and read. The part of the story that we always think of without effort, the scene that flashes across our minds when we see something familiar, or smell a similar/same smell, or doing something we used to do with this special someone.

And this part of the story will always be the same, as sweet, heart warming and preciously treasured, not matter how the story ends – whether together or not. 

So as the story ends, I have decided after long deliberation. I know many will rebut and hold me to what I have said before, but I guess I know what matters. And as long as I have that line clearly drawn inside, whatever my actions will not matter.

 

 

A fresh start

So much has happened and so much as been done. It’s only right to start things afresh in my new surroundings.

I’m officially an undergraduate student as of now. Pursuing the dream almost every child is socialised to dream of. Most parents would tell their child to study hard so as to move on to the next level of education. Pre-school to kindergarten, Kindergarten to Primary school, Primary school to Secondary school, so on and so forth.

Now that I am at the last step looking back down at the route I have been climbing, I take a moment and ponder, “Is it really true that success stands after this?”

It seems all too obvious that the answer is “No,” however, that begets the question:

“Then why are we still telling children that this is the way it should be?”

I am proud to call myself a student at where I am currently enrolled. But that is as far as it goes. I wont deny that university education is important, in fact, I feel that it is in this phase of my life that I have learnt to adopt different perspectives and practice different habits.

However, looking forwards into the future, I question myself why is it that we keep telling our kids to study so hard?

The people who decided it was important must have a reason for it, and it must have been very well driven into the population. But then, it is only possible by creating the conflict of the classes – the rich and the poor, those in power and those who are powerless, the people who can mobilise and those who are mobilised against their will – and as far as it is frustrating, it is impossible for a nation to operate without it. No riches without poverty, no scholars without average graders, and certainly no leaders without the followers. But who then, or what, decides the social standing of the population?

Today, I study my nights off, burning what little time I have trying to survive my grades, at the same time juggling work commitments to earn my own allowance and pay-off my school fees. It is not the best situation to be caught in. All this happens alongside a large number of people who have a different lifestyle altogether.

Luck? Fate? Destiny? Karma?

All the commonly prescribed answers to this plight I am in. For them, does the topic of education as the key to success even qualify?

Does education even qualify as a prerequisite for success?

I doubt so, maybe for the people stuck in the same rut as me, but definitely not for everyone (and judging from the growing income disparity, it doesn’t look so good). And of course we can spend another hour or 2 talking about the definition of success, but that shall be left for another post.

I shall end the post with the question again:

Does education stand as a prerequisite for success? If it does, why, and who decided it was? If not, then why are we telling our children the importance of it?